Passionate Living

Photograph by Magdalena

TECHNOLOGY is the tools we use to help us achieve our goals. The purpose is to help us be able to manage our priorities and become efficient in working towards our goals. Proper understanding and use of technology is a highly positive value in a person’s life.

OUR MINDS work the way we order them to; if we don’t keep our minds neat and structured, then our thoughts will be dirty and unkept. If we let our inspirational well run dry, our minds will be prone to negative information and perception shaped by the bombardment of propaganda in the form of negative news and advertisements. It’s the responsibility of a person to keep his mind clear from clutter and focused on priorities.

HUMILITY is a character that has to be learned first hand. You cannot develop humility without first experiencing adversity; and not everyone wants to experience it. Only the persons who manage to overcome their obstacles, learn the key to life is being patient and understanding there are purposes bigger than our individual parts.

Several weeks ago as I was with my parents eating out, my mother commented on a woman her age on the table behind us. She (the woman) was busy fidgeting with her Blackberry, which made my mother comment that that is the new activity of people today – they fidget with their Blackberrys. No one in my family own a Blackberry; we have never been “victims” of “technology fashion”. Therefore, seeing a person busy playing with their BB’s, while in the middle of a family dinner, made me think about the way we use technology to enhance our lives.

“What do I want from life? Well, I want to be happy.”

In the digital era of instant gratification and 3G internet speeds, patience is a rare commodity. Our minds and our collective culture is growing up with the mind frame that we can get mostly anything we want at any time we want – leaving the previously usual work and waiting out of the equation. For some purposes, this may be good, but in the long term of human growth, the work and waiting that we used to have to go through are vital in forming the character of a person.

Gretchen Rubin shares her experience on how she was able to find the inspiration to write her Happiness Project; she was sitting on a bus one day while looking outside the window and asked herself, “What do I want from life?”. Her answer was, “Well, I want to be happy” [1]; and it was that answer that made her write the Happiness Project book – a #1 New York Times Bestseller. Gretchen says if she was busy fidgeting with her Blackberry, she wouldn’t have found the inspiration to write the book that has influenced the lives of tens of thousands of people today.

Some people have trouble sitting down on a bus without anything to do. They have to fidget around with something, because maybe they can’t stand being alone with their thoughts. This is the sign of an unhealthy mind, because a healthy mind is constantly curious about itself and always exercises examinations upon its own characters, observations, beliefs, and mechanisms. It is the power and uniqueness of man to be able to view himself from third person to gain a perspective on his life purpose. This is how the great figures of our society found their calling, explored their minds deeper, and consequently changed the world we live in.

Technology we own is rarely technology we need

Humility is therefore a primary character before all characters, because without humility you can not have the patience to sit down on a bus without anything to do. Without humility, your mind will always think you are bored, and seek out brain dead information through mindless gaming and social networking to entertain yourself. Humility is key to keeping a mind that is brave enough to spend some time alone with itself.

At the end of the day, the technology we own is rarely technology we need. Most of the technology in our hands are results of us just satisfying our carnal desires to possess and perhaps even show off that we can afford to buy these things. How do we know that is true? Because even with so called “better” technology, we still experience the same social problems we face since the history of mankind.

Therefore a healthy mind realizes, it’s not about what the technology we have is; it’s about how we use the technology we have. It’s not about owning a Blackberry so you can stay on always; it’s about having that correct portable device that becomes an extension of yourself and truly helps you be efficient in reaching your life goals, instead of eating away at your mental health. It’s about the change we make, through the resources we are given; because the easy choice is always to live life for yourself and eat up all the resources you feel like eating up.

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[1] Gretchen relates this story in the first chapters of her book: Happiness Project

Telephone by ~bexe

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4

Cecilia and I used to spend a lot of time talking on the phone, especially when it was me living out of town. We would talk about nothing in particular, enjoying the niceties of friends who are comfortable in each others accompaniment without purpose. We could spend hours interchanging between random topics, of course with several fundamental lessons imprinted along the way.

But sometimes I would feel bad about calling her, because sometimes I feel our conversation was a waste of time for her. Sometimes I felt it was only me who wanted to talk, even though Cecilia spent the most time talking and me mostly listening. Sometimes I stopped myself from calling her just because I wanted to.

But today, the tables are turned. This time it was her fiance who called her and made our meeting up became uncomfortable. This time it was his action that spread out negative energy between the three of us that still plagued me until the day was almost over.

Glimpse of a good morning

Negative energy is more contagious that positive energy – arbitrarily nine times stronger. When we are angry, especially in the morning, we tend to target our family members and vent out our anger on them, even though it has nothing to do with them particularly. When we do this, not only do we make ourselves more angry, we also jeopardize any glimpse of a good morning our family members might have been having.

We do this not only in our own houses, but everywhere we are. Everywhere we work, play, shop, drive, exercise, and hang out are potential places where we could be spreading negative energy when we are upset. The total cost to society, especially the people around us, is much greater than the small amount (if any) of relief that we think we get by making other people know we are angry.

In Cecilia’s case, her fiance was upset she had met up with me, and through his uncomfortable cell phone call [1], he managed to spread his negativity all the way from Bali, and canceled the momentum Cecilia and I were in. We ended the conversation right there, since both of us were already victims of the negative energy, and I drove her to her studio in silence.

But the worse part of it all isn’t the abrupt interruption – the worse part is how the negative energy affected me throughout the rest of the day. I like to say I am a person who works on being happy, so when somebody comes along and manages to ruin that happiness by their being selfish and childish, it really upsets me [2]. I did my best to regain composure, but the damage was done, and the negative energy inevitably plagued me all day.

No respect

One question we need to ask ourselves is: is it worth it? Is it worth expressing your childish selfishness, just to make yourself feel better? Is it worth it, pushing the point that you’re right and she’s wrong, and that she has to apologize like you’ve never made your share of mistakes?

There are no rewards for being an angry person. There’s no acknowledgment, no respect, no growth, no happiness, no love, no health benefits, and especially no integrity when you expect someone else to be responsible for your failing to manage your emotions. There’s no reason why we should allow ourselves to spread the negative energy and endanger the momentum people are building in their days – since that is already difficult to do by default.

Stop being childish and grow up. If you are angry, it means you have no integrity – because you are threatened by the things that reveal your weaknesses, therefore you resort to defensive stances. Be aware, and be actionable – know what is the real problem you are having and tackle the problem with the head of an adult; not the eagerness of a teenager.

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[1] It makes me wonder how some people can do that; pick up the phone to start an argument. The point of telecommunication is so that we don’t get caught in the moment and have time to think through what we are about to say before we say it! The point is being able to prevent exact occurrences like this one!
[2] It crushes me, when an adult behaves like a child, and they can’t see that for themselves. That is NOT true happiness; that is NOT true strength of character; that is STILL living in your own illusion of reality

*And I almost forgot, here is the NEW SONG that I should have uploaded a week ago:
When You Come Through For Me by Endy Daniyanto

SUCCESS is an achievement every person desires in his life. To be handsome and rich, intelligent and articulate, healthy and happy; these are the preoccupations that become the foundation on which we choose our professions, our friends, our activities, and even the people we love. To achieve any degree of success in the above aspects, hard work and commitment is needed, since we are working towards an artificial state of being [1].

Midnight in a supermarket by Cyril Caton

ADVERTISEMENT is mostly about pushing the emotions of people by using the powerful lure of the above achievements. The products that are marketed in every part of our community and physical surroundings, all offer a better, faster, cheaper way to become the things we desire. It’s the business of the businesses, to attach values – whether they be true or only an over-exaggerated claim – to their products in order to persuade people to purchase them.

QUALITY is a result of focus, dedication, faith, and integrity; to reach the best results we need to invest a great number of resources. Quality is the artificial state, since it takes full intention and deliberate actions to reach this condition. Quality does not come cheap or widely available to the masses; it is highly specific and niche, and is inherently integral to principles and values.

The constitution of beauty

Two weeks ago as I was waiting for my friend to pick me up, I walked into a supermarket and bought some of the children snacks whose company often come to the studio where I work and request for music to be made for them. The clients of the studio are mostly children snacks companies, such as biscuits and wafers; and the added value they advertise is mostly great taste and good nutrition. As a person, I feel it’s necessary to understand what the product is, since it is part of my business.

I discovered my digestive system wasn’t too fond of children snacks that day; the moment I ate them my stomach solicited an unusual reaction. This made me think whether the snacks contain any harmful ingredients for my sensitive stomach, and therefore may also harm the sensitive stomachs of children who are exposed to the advertisements of these products. As a company, are they aware of the possibility that their products – priced low in order to achieve mass market; consequently not with high quality – may inflict some harm on the very target market they pursue?

One of the products advertise vitamin B as one of their selling points. Uneducated people would think this is good nutrition and therefore a good snack. They also hope they can achieve quality, if possible at the lowest price.

However, this made me think the validity of generic products to help us reach what we want to become. Besides children snacks, there are countless other products that promise easy access to becoming the best of society: skin-whitening products to make us become beautiful, body shaping milk that will give us the lean waist or six pack we’ve always dreamed of, and low budget cellphones prepacked with Web 2.0 media apps that promise we will never have a moment of boredom.

The truth is, generic products rarely become the products we believe in to help us achieve success in life. I am sure the models in the advertisements spend a large sum to purchase specialist products – ones that are not mass marketed, since they are expensive – to help them achieve the quality they need to. The celebrities who endorse skin-whitening lotions, use better skin-care products, register with an expert skincare physician, limit their movement outside in the sun to protect their skin, sign up onto high-end fitness facilities and dedicate time periodically to work out, and various other premium beauty products that combine to make up the constitution of their beauty.

The same goes with the models who model for six-pack inducing protein shakes. They have six packs because they work out – very hard – and they also choose a highly nutritious menu; where the protein necessary to build muscles does not come at a cheap price. The supplements they use, are imported and sold at 20 times the price of the product they endorse.

Believe the necessity of specialist products

Would you say that you have a generic life? No, of course not – you have a highly specific life with a highly targeted purpose that needs specific (or unique [2]) treatment. You need to work out the formula for yourself, and search for which products that are effective for you and which are not – and sometimes you find the cheap products work, other times you need to invest in the expensive ones.

Believing in success means believing in the necessity of specialist products. Quality is not accessible through the proxies of low priced, mass market items. Beauty is always on the high pedestal of persistent pursuit; we need to work hard and spend large if we want to achieve it.

Therefore, it’s OK if you need to spend a large amount of money to achieve the success you want; that’s how successful people do it. You don’t need to feel like you don’t have the right to spend out that much, and reserve your money for something that may never happen, and therefore of lower functional value. Because the success we achieve allow us greater strength to create the change we envision.

Isn’t that what beauty is all about?

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[1] Artificial not in the sense of superficial, but something that is man-made and needs to be done intentionally, since it doesn’t occur naturally
[2] Though my belief says there is nothing unique; everything original has been done before, and everything we consider original today is not exempt from the principles and frameworks in which it is based upon
[3] Photograph by Cyril Caton